10 weeks out

Ok, to start with a quick recap of events since last post:

* moved to Kerrisdale with my sister
* took on the position of book-keeper and administrator at the gym
* got my first client as a personal trainer
* started dieting for the show

A lot really in only two months. And it has all been really good-- until a couple weeks ago when the momentum started to slow down and then I got slightly injured. I guess simple overuse has led to a strain in my arm. In turn it has left me unable to train upper body for two weeks now. Frustrating to say the least. That teamed with my body adapting to this new diet, and having to deal with a whole lot of disgruntled gym members... well, last week I was a sorry excuse for a sensitive and caring human being. I snipped; I snapped; I sadly turned into a woe-is-me individual. And so I decided to take myself out of the mix for the weekend.

Who would've thought that a pair of shoes will help turn around my mood and up my spirits? lol

I decided that I needed to make this competition thing a reality and purchased my stage shoes. Four and half inches of leather, plastic and steel. On my way I am. haha Now just to practice my "model" walk.

As for training, legs and cardio it's been. Normally can't stand an hour or even half on a piece of cardio equipment, but as this has been all I've been able to do it's kinda grown on me. And I know how important it is for the big picture-- 10 weeks from now. So, it has been 4:30 AM cardio at the gym before shift and then more after.

I know a lot of people just don't understand why I am doing this. Those closest to me, who have known me forever, totally will. In a future post, I will have to write it all out not just for others but for me. But for now, simply said, it's been a long road of health potholes, physically and psychologically, that brought me here. And dedicating this time and effort to my health; actually following through on this decision I've made; getting up in front of an audience strong, confident and healthy will be an achievement like none other in my life. Over-dramatic as that sounds. And to know I can do it is proof that anyone-- any woman-- who has battled insecurity, stress, fear and failure can also be strong, confident, healthy and happy.

The next 19 weeks aren't just leading up to a bikini competition, they are leading up to a new story...